By , , , Comments Off on Are you really healed or are you just trying not to think about it?

Are you really healed or are you just trying not to think about it?

Are you really healed or are you just trying not to think about it? You may have experienced the frustration of trying to stop thinking about something…only to find yourself thinking about it more. When you actively try to avoid a thought, your brain seeks any kind of distraction it can grab hold of. Oddly … Continue reading »
Are you really healed or are you just trying not to think about it?
By , , Comments Off on What do they really want to do?

What do they really want to do?

Let people do what they want to do, so you see what they’d rather do. Their actions reveal how much they respect the relationship. There are moments in everyone’s lives that show their character. Character isn’t just revealed in our best moments. The truth often reveals itself in the little everyday moments. Letting go of … Continue reading »
What do they really want to do?
By , , , , Comments Off on If you’re not speaking it, you’re storing it.

If you’re not speaking it, you’re storing it.

If you’re not speaking it, you’re storing it. Do you get overly busy, so you don’t have to think about how you’re feeling? Do you tell yourself you don’t really have a right to complain? Do you deny that you’re still hurt? Do you tell yourself you need to let it go, but still find … Continue reading »
If you’re not speaking it, you’re storing it.
By , , , , Comments Off on The Anniversary Effect

The Anniversary Effect

What is The Anniversary Effect, and could I have it? The Anniversary Effect is any disturbing, unsettling feelings, thoughts or memories that occur on the anniversary of some sort of pain, upset, trauma, or loss. Birthdays, anniversaries, seasons (such as the holidays) or a particular date or hour of the day can all activate The … Continue reading »
The Anniversary Effect
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When does it stop hurting?

“When does it stop hurting?” I’m often asked this question as a therapist. Emotional pain can be unbearable at times. For many of us, it is easier to block out the thoughts and feelings we don’t want to feel. However, the more we avoid pain, the more we internalize our suffering. Maybe you’re experiencing grief … Continue reading »
When does it stop hurting?
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Avoiding Conflict

“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction.” ~Peter Bromberg How often is your response to conflict, “I don’t want to talk about it”? OR do you apologize to the person, agree, and accommodate them? Perhaps you attempt to shut down the other person by just accepting all the … Continue reading »
Avoiding Conflict
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Holiday Stress

As a therapist, inevitably when this time of years rolls around, I have people tell me how this is “supposed to be” the best and most magical time of the year. It doesn’t matter if it’s a client, family, a friend, co-worker or acquaintance. The conversation is then typically followed up by some sort of … Continue reading »
Holiday Stress
By , Comments Off on Catch it. Check it. Change it.

Catch it. Check it. Change it.

Do you ever have one negative thought, and it snowballs into a downward spiral of fear, anxiety, and dread? If you’re like most people, you struggle to stop it because negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors tend to reinforce one another. Here’s a 3-part skill you can use: 1. Catch it. Catch the negative thought. Work … Continue reading »
Catch it. Check it. Change it.
By , Comments Off on It’s what we do consistently.

It’s what we do consistently.

It’s not the things we do occasionally. It’s the things we do consistently. Why do we struggle with consistency? Self-doubt, insecurity, and a fear of failure combined with a lack of patience and an “all or nothing” mindset is typically the root cause. Start with your why. Feel good goals come from your why. When … Continue reading »
It’s what we do consistently.