At what point in a relationship should you share the intimate details of your life? How willing are you to disclose your entire past to someone you’re involved with?
Each of us has to make a judgment call regarding our level and timing of disclosure. As our comfort level increases and our sense of trust unfolds, we typically expose more and more about ourselves.
However, when your relationship is just beginning, there is rarely a good reason to push your openness to the point of uneasiness. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has self-doubt. Everyone has things they’ve done that they think will cause others to look down on them.
Beware of the potential for misunderstanding and other unintended consequences if you reveal too much. There is no guarantee this person will become a permanent part of your life. You don’t want to reveal things about yourself that you may later regret sharing.
It is not necessary to be secretive. The best relationships are typically those that experience full disclosure. Rather, recognize that there is an appropriate time to divulge sensitive information about yourself. Pacing yourself is mandatory. As the relationship grows and develops, so should your degree of openness.
Carrie
Happy that on the first date I was told..”I often drink too much, become contrary & am stubborn & opinionated.” -Goodbye
Probably better than hearing that after the 10th date =)
A common factor in those of my clients who have experienced abusive relationships, has been the prompting of early intimate disclosure by their partners, particularly those with borderline p.d. or narcissistic p.d.
This information, having negatively fired the insecurity status of the partner, has then been used to bully, objectify and reduce the self esteem of the victim. Disclose if you must, but only at your own pace and NEVER at the prompting of a third party would always be my advice, for what it’s worth.
Thank you so much for your comment Keith. I agree.
First of all excuse my grammar.
I wanted to mention that I learned that people that become an open book, in their past relationships could be because their were trusting their fiancé to not spill the beans to the whole world for say. But after they broke it off, they would be open book to new people in thier social life’s about their past relationships. I just believe their we’re open about themselves because people around them assumed they already knew everything of them after being vocalized by their Ex’s. Should they clear the waters or just not worry what everybody is saying about them?.
Dealing with psychopaths, and narcissistic, bipolar with PTSD people is very tough.
This is why to me it never to late to learn to read people.
I agree. It is always difficult to learn who to trust.