What are you holding onto that is way too heavy to carry? Are you lugging around your failures or disappointments? Are you clutching to a grudge or resentments? Are you holding on to a relationship with someone that just can’t be repaired?
It’s common for people to wonder:
- How to let go of the things that are killing you, when it feels like it would kill you to let it go.
- How you decide between holding yourself accountable for past mistakes and allowing yourself the grace and forgiveness to move forward.
- How you decide between “if things are meant to be, they will be” and “if you want it, you have try harder.”
Why do we put ourselves through the mental torture of trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense? Why do we cling to something that doesn’t contribute to our happiness or that no longer helps us grow?
There are many reasons we continue to carry heavy emotional weight around with us. Some of them include:
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of failure
- Inability to give up control
- Low self-esteem
- Shame
- Guilt
- The eternal optimistic hope that things can change.
For many people, holding on is based on the idea that clinging onto things that are no longer healthy for us creates a protection against future pain.
If you keep it in your immediate awareness, then you won’t get hurt again or do it again. If you let it go, then you could be blindsided. Holding on gives us a false sense of security and control. We stay miserable, but at least it’s familiar territory.
To heal, you need to find your reason for not letting go. The sooner you learn what holds you back, the path to move forward becomes clearer.
If you are uncertain as to why you are holding onto situations, past events, thoughts or people that no longer serve you, therapy is a helpful place to start.
Carrie
