Are you stuck in a difficult relationship that repeatedly hurts or disappoints you? Why do we allow people to steal our sense of self and cause chaos in our lives?
Whether you’re dealing with your best friend since the third grade, a family member, your parents, a significant other or your boss, it is time to free yourself from the effects of toxic relationships.
Family ties and/or association does not equate to ownership of you, your feelings, or your needs as an individual. You have the right to remove toxic people from every area of your life. If you don’t, you are essentially saying, “You treat me badly. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I just have to deal with it.”
Despite what you’ve been told, or raised to believe, you ABSOLUTELY have the right to cut your ties. No one, no matter who they are, or what position they hold in your life, has the right to infect your environment with negativity. No one has the right to make you feel bad about who you are, cause you to feel fear or hurt of any kind, or try to force you to live the life they think is best for you. You are not responsible for the actions of grown people capable of taking responsibility for themselves and their behavior.
The longer you stay in these unhealthy relationships, the more you delay doing the important work you need to do, such as healing your wounds. Take a step back and ask yourself if your time is best spent excusing their inexcusable behavior, or if there are areas of your life you’d rather spend your time and energy on. Your time could be spent helping you grow and achieve your dreams.
Show yourself far more love and respect. Be good to yourself. Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.
Wondering if your relationship is toxic? Take my quiz.
Carrie
What if I suspect I’m the reason for the toxcicity?
Natalia,
Troubles with relationships most often have at least some blame to share. I no nothing of your situation, but the odds are very high that you are not the ONLY reason for the toxicity. Furthermore, regardless of who is “at fault”, if a relationship is toxic then the choice remains the same. Is there truly any value in continuing it? Often, the relationship itself is the problem. Two well-meaning people can be the wrong match for each other.
I wish you strength and peace…
Carrie
This is a perfect article for my partner to read. Her parents, brother, and sister in-law are all toxic. There is always manipulation and guilt trips when she doesn’t do what they want her to do. And whenever she does have the courage to say “no” to her mom, her mom always makes her feel like she has to justify herself. What can I do to help her?
Maybe all you can do is offer support and let her know that doesn’t exist within your own relationship. She will have to deal with her family on her own terms. There is risk in you coming between her and her family, or even the perception of that, that could cause her additional troubles. She will have to learn that “no” is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation. It’s all very complicated when family is involved and I can’t really give advice beyond that without knowing all the details.
I wish you both well.