• Do you feel you are constantly being too needy?
• Do you feel you’re the only one doing the work in your relationship?
• Does your partner take you for granted?
• Do you have no common end-goals?
• Do you always feel let down?
• Are you uncomfortable opening up to your partner?
• Do you find you can’t rely on the relationship?
• Do you feel you the second choice?
• Do you justify your partner’s behavior to loved ones?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to re-think your relationship.
The interesting thing about one-way relationships is that no matter who is doing the giving or taking, it always requires two people to keep the relationship going. One-sided relationships typically involves a person who is giving too much and expecting too little and a someone who continually sees the potential in what the relationship could be, rather than for what it actually is.
Before throwing in the towel, it is important to look at the relationship with a broader brush. If you think you may be in a one-sided relationship, consider getting help before continuing down what could be a long, painful road. Lopsided relationships inevitably leave someone not getting their needs met and feeling confused.
Therapy can help both of you in the relationship to step back and look at the bigger picture. However, therapy can also help you, as an individual, examine what your responsibilities and choices are moving forward.
Having two willing participants in therapy is ideal, but not required. Individual therapy in a relationship will help you address the role you play in maintaining and fueling the problem.
Questions to think about include:
• Why do I allow this kind of interaction to be a part of my life?
• Why don’t I believe that I deserve better?
• What am I afraid of?
• What continues to fuel my desire to remain in a relationship that gives me so little?
Self-examination is hard, but is necessary to insure you don’t repeat these behaviors in either this relationship or future relationships.
Let’s get started. I’ll walk you through it.
Carrie
